Last updated: 02/10/15
If you have to go to work today, you might as well laugh about it.
Here are the most hilarious quotes about work we could find. Share your favorite and help make 5 o’clock come a little sooner.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey
All I ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work. Sergeant Bilko
I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday. Unknown
Related: Funny Monday Quotes →
No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early. Groucho Marx
Hey, I won’t be in today. I have Anal Glaucoma. I can’t see my ass coming into work. Unknown
I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. Danny McGoorty
I am feeling a bit overworked and under intoxicated. Unknown
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. Aristotle
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Charles Lamb
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost
If A equals success, then the formula is A= X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. Abraham Lincoln
Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow. Don Herold
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. Mark Twain
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. Unknown
People don’t think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home. Jerry Seinfield
I truly believe the wireless mouse was invented so people at work had one less thing to hang themselves with. Mike Vanatta
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Unknown
The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. Lilly Tomlin
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. Bertrand Russell
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen
I don’t mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just bullsh*t! Unknown
Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train. Jim Halpert, The Office
Sometimes I can’t figure out if I am in preschool or high school. Oh, wait. I’m at work. Unknown
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment. Robert Benchley
It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. William Faulkner
Personally, I have nothing against work, particularly when performed, quietly and unobtrusively, by someone else. Barbara Ehrenreich
Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job. Unknown
If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Homer Simpson
I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work. Stephen Colbert
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K. Jerome
Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished. Leslie Nielsen
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that. Jerry Seinfield
I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week. Vince McMahon
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you missed work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Unknown
There’s not a single job in this town. There’s nothin’, nada, zip. Unless you wanna work forty hours a week. Jeff Daniels
Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy. Huey Long
I can’t work in an environment where I’m expected to do my job. Unknown
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas. Paula Poundstone
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. Unknown
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. Charles J. Sykes
The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. Arnold Toynbee
I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… twice a year. Unknown
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. Charlie McCarthy
Let us work without reasoning, it is the only way to make life endurable. Voltaire
They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money except by working for it. Joseph Addison
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost
Your salary is like a period – you wait for it a whole month and then it ends in a week. Unknown
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter. John Gotti
Warning: To avoid injury, don’t tell me how to do my job. Unknown
Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. C. Northcote Parkinson
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. Unknown
It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. James Thurber
Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels. Unknown
Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better. Unknown
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. Douglas Adams
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free… from your job. Unknown
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?? You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. Unknown
“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life: Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.” Homer Simpson
Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day. Ed Bernard
When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die. Unknown
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Introduction to Public Speaking
Public speaking is a skill that involves conveying information, ideas, or messages to an audience. It is a form of communication that can be informative, persuasive, or entertaining. The goal of informative speaking is to teach the audience about a specific topic or subject. Effective informative speeches convey knowledge and engage the audience in learning. The introduction of a speech is crucial for establishing the speaker's credibility, capturing the audience's attention, and motivating them to listen. It should include an attention-getter, introduction of the topic, speaker credibility, and a forecast of the main points .
Types of Speech Delivery
There are various methods of speech delivery, including impromptu, extemporaneous, and technical speaking. Impromptu speaking is spontaneous and responsive, often in a group context, while extemporaneous speaking involves some preparation and planning but allows for flexibility in delivery. Technical speaking is common in fields such as engineering and information technology, where conveying complex technical information is essential. Each method of delivery has its advantages and challenges, and effective communication is key to engaging the audience .
Structuring the Speech
Organizing speeches is essential for improving clarity of thought and increasing the likelihood of the speech being effective. The introduction should clearly state the main claim or idea, orient the audience, establish goodwill and credibility, and make connections between the audience's existing knowledge and the speech topic. Transition phrases are important for guiding the audience through the speech and maintaining coherence. Establishing credibility in the introduction is imperative, especially for persuasive speeches, to gain the audience's trust and willingness to be persuaded .
Conclusion
Public speaking is a valuable skill that involves effective communication, engaging the audience, and delivering information in a clear and compelling manner. Understanding the different methods of speech delivery, structuring the speech effectively, and establishing credibility in the introduction are essential components of successful public speaking. Whether it's conveying knowledge, persuading, or entertaining, effective public speaking can have a transformative impact on both the speaker and the audience.
If you have any specific questions or would like to delve deeper into any aspect of public speaking, feel free to ask!
