Author and TikTok Star Carrie Berk on Practicing Self-Love This Valentine's Day (2024)

It's the season of love. The stores are full of hearts and flowers, pink and red everything, and sprinkles of glitter cover the floors. Commercials are encouraging us all to buy jewelry, chocolate and cards for that special someone. And it's all but raining conversation hearts outside. If all of the lovely-dovey stuff has you feeling more Cruella than Cupid, author and TikTok star Carrie Berk, 21, has some advice: lean into loving yourself instead.

Berk's new book, My Real-Life Rom-Com: How to Build Confidence and Write Your Own Relationship Rules, is part memoir, part guide to navigating the dating world, written for teens by someone who's been there.

The idea came out of Berk's own experiences swimming through the often muddy waters of first relationships. The author even used some of her own teenage journals for reference during her writing process, and she wants teens to see it as a guide to coming-of-age love and heartbreak.

Author and TikTok Star Carrie Berk on Practicing Self-Love This Valentine's Day (2)

But for those who don't currently have a relationship to navigate, Berk has a few ideas. PEOPLE chatted with the social media star on how to stay positive this Valentine's Day season, and it all starts with self-love.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings

"Whether that's anxious, sad, indifferent...it's all valid," Berk advises. "Accept your feelings for what they are and instead of pushing them down, use them as fuel to do something productive on V-Day."

She recommends giving your home or apartment a nice, restorative deep-clean, organizing your closet or working on a project you've been putting off. Whatever will make you feel accomplished, that's your V-Day task.

Make plans with your girlfriends

Channel your inner Leslie Knope and say "no thanks" to pricey prix fixe for two.

"So many restaurants are hosting Galentine's bottomless brunches," Berk suggests. "Or, if you're looking to ball out on a budget, plan a game night with the girls." And while we're talking Galentine's, don't forget it can be a gender-neutral term. However your singles squad identifies, band together to turn Valentine's into a celebration of singlehood.

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Practice self-love

Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to pamper number one (you!).

Remember that being single on V-Day does not mean you're a failure

"I spent many Valentine's Days single," Berk says, adding that her book is "filled with epic dating fails." Coming down with a case of the blues when surrounded by couples is normal, but take heart that you're not alone.

"It's normal and healthy to feel bummed out, but the more confidence you maintain in yourself, the more positive energy you attract (and maybe even a potential partner)," Berk adds.

Spread the love

"The energy you give, you get back," Berk says. Lean in to the relationships you do have instead of mourning those you don't. Berk suggests calling a friend or family member to catch up and telling them you love them. Chatting with someone who values you, regardless of relationship status, is guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

Doing an act of service like volunteering at an organization that supports a cause that matters to you, helping someone less fortunate or donating to charity are also great ways to pay it forward.

Buy yourself a gift

"No, it's not pathetic," Berk says. "It's kind of iconic. Just because you don't have a significant other doesn't mean you can't show yourself some love." Consider this your permission slip to treat yourself to something special. Go ahead: buy the chocolate, send yourself flowers or even splurge on something silky just for you. Whatever will put a smile on your face is worth it.

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Insights, advice, suggestions, feedback and comments from experts

As an expert and enthusiast, I have personal experiences or feelings, but I possess a vast amount of knowledge on various topics. Here's some information related to the concepts mentioned in the article:

Self-Love

Self-love refers to the practice of valuing and caring for oneself. It involves recognizing one's worth, accepting oneself, and taking actions that promote well-being and personal growth. Practicing self-love can improve self-esteem, mental health, and overall happiness. Some common self-love practices include self-care activities, setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is an annual holiday celebrated on February 14th. It is commonly associated with romantic love and is often seen as a day to express affection and appreciation for loved ones. Traditionally, people exchange greeting cards, flowers, chocolates, and other gifts with their romantic partners. However, Valentine's Day has also evolved to encompass other forms of love and can be celebrated with friends, family, or even oneself.

Galentine's Day

Galentine's Day is a term popularized by the TV show "Parks and Recreation." It is celebrated on February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day, and is dedicated to celebrating the love and friendship among women. Galentine's Day is an opportunity for women to come together, enjoy each other's company, and show appreciation for their female friendships.

Coming-of-Age

Coming-of-age refers to the transition from childhood to adulthood. It is a time when individuals undergo physical, emotional, and social changes, and often face new responsibilities and challenges. Coming-of-age experiences vary across cultures and may include rituals, ceremonies, or significant life events that mark the transition into adulthood.

Relationship Rules

Relationship rules are guidelines or principles that individuals or couples establish to govern their interactions and expectations within a romantic relationship. These rules can be based on personal values, communication styles, boundaries, and preferences. Relationship rules help promote understanding, trust, and mutual respect between partners.

Epic Dating Fails

Epic dating fails refer to humorous or memorable experiences that individuals have encountered while dating. These stories often involve unexpected or embarrassing situations, miscommunications, or awkward moments. Sharing epic dating fails can be a way to bond with others, find humor in dating mishaps, and learn from past experiences.

Act of Service

An act of service is a kind or helpful action performed for someone else without expecting anything in return. Acts of service can be small gestures, such as offering assistance, doing favors, or volunteering time and skills to support others. Engaging in acts of service can promote empathy, strengthen relationships, and contribute to the well-being of individuals and communities.

Charity

Charity refers to the act of giving to those in need or supporting organizations that work to address social issues and improve the lives of others. Charitable activities can involve donating money, goods, or time to charitable organizations or participating in fundraising events. Engaging in charity can help create positive social change and make a meaningful impact on individuals and communities in need.

Self-Care

Self-care encompasses activities and practices that individuals engage in to prioritize their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Self-care activities can vary widely and may include practices such as exercise, meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies, or engaging in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction. Practicing self-care can help individuals recharge, reduce stress, and maintain overall well-being.